Reverse Peer Pressure ( Or Why I Drank Last Weekend )

Ladies and gentlemen, I have an annoucement to make: I broke my no year without drinking this weekend just gone and to be quite honest, I’m not all too bothered that I did.

‘ But Adrian! How could you!? You were determined to go through with this!? What happened!? You’re such a cop – out! Traitor! ‘ OK, calm down. This post is to explain my reason why I decided to break it. It ends up being a bit more complex than me just deciding to ‘ screw it, let’s get drunk! ‘

Anyway, as you know, I am fighting game player. This weekend just gone ( 13th – 15th April ) I was in Dublin to partipate in the biggest fighting game tournament of the year in Ireland. Now, I had actually said that I intended not to drink while I was up there and was determined to stick to my guns. However, something can up that took my surprise and caused me to changed to my mind.

I was in the Irish Fighting Game Community chat room a last week and the topic about the weekend came up. I mentioned that I was intending to stay off the booze and when asked why, I explained that it was a personal goal and that I had an audience that I didn’t want to let down if I did drink.

However, what took me by surprise is the fact that while it’s not clear what exactly was said but what was spoken of got me seriously thinking about it to the point I had to braindstorm and do some journalling about it. The conclusion I came to was that it was in fact, a form of peer pressure I was under.

This isn’t the classic direct peer pressure. It was more subtle than that. I felt that if I broke this challenge, I would have let my audience down. HOWEVER, at the same time, I also felt if I stuck to my guns too rigidly, than I might not enjoy the night out and that I would end up feeling sorry for myself. You see, I’ve had problems with being too stubborn in the past and when I was journalling all this, some words of wisdom that a friend from secondary school echoed through my head in regards to my stubborn, rigid nature: ‘ Adrian, there is no point is staying at home all the time, feeling sorry for yourself. ‘

Another fact is that I probably won’t be up in Dublin again before I go to Oz so that could be the last time I see many of those guys before I leave – which also added the idea in that what would be point in being a party popper just for the sake of a goal that in reality, not many people know about? Why should I feel like I am making myself suffer for the sake of what is really a personal goal?

Also an aspect worth noting is that from my journalling, my fear of letting down the audience also led me to rather alarming conclusion: I didn’t want to let anyone down because I was afriad of offending someone! That is what it boiled down to! I was scared someone would take offence! This floored me and helped me realize that I wasn’t making my own decisions, I was letting others ( however indirectly ) make my decisions for me and I was to be frank… rather angry with myself at that.

In fact, my fear of offending others effects other areas of my life. Be it that I don’t want to chat up those girls, I might end up offending them with my advances, I can’t say no to something otherwise I’ll offend the person / people who asked me. Basically, I was a doormat and a yes man and that wasn’t pretty at all, to say the least.

Now granted, I did not make this decision lightly or spontaneously. I thought this over and decided to make an exception for the weekend just gone. I plan on being dry for the rest of the year now. It’s good to know that something good came from all this from me personally. I know myself better and am now becoming more unoffendable and that, if you ask me, is a good thing.

I’m Clueless

To be brutally honest, I can be clueless at the best of times. You can say that life is like an improvisation. You make up as you go along, hoping for the best. The reality is we generally have no idea what we are doing.

Is this a bad thing? Not really. Being clueless means we have to seek solutions to our problems so that we’ll be less clueless next time. I know I’m less clueless on many things than what I was even last year. I’m still clueless in many things and will just improvise my way through things to make myself less clueless.

That is life, so they say. Be clueless, it’s more adventourous.

Staying True to My Theme of 2012

I’ve being slacking off lately, I admit this ( well, I DID say that the release Street Fighter X Tekken would effect my posts here for a while ) I’m still nowhere near wanting to wake up at 7am in the morning ( maybe I was being too ambitious with that goal perhaps? ) and other things, like saving for Oz, have slowed down a bit unfortunately.

However, I can that maybe the last few months were meant as a peroid where I was germinating internally. Who knows, I’m the type of person who takes some time to come around but when I do, the progress can be remarkable in a very short peroid of time. For example, If I was given a 6 week project, you can count on me making slow progress until week 4, after that, you will see my productactivity sky rocket which will result in me finishing the project on time.

So, there are a few things in the pipeline but generally speaking, I am doing my best to stay true to my theme for 2012 which is Upsetting the Status Quo. It’s kind of funny really, I could do nothing for ages but then something comes along and causes massive changes with something as simple as pressing the ‘ return ‘ key on my laptop ( I’ll elaborate on this in a future post. )

As for the whole no drinking thing, I’ve managed to stay true to myself and my goal of a drink free 2012 by NOT drinking at all this St Patrick’s weekend just gone. To be honest, I feel like I wasn’t really missing out on much anyway. For one thing, the bars I was in were in absolute chaos, even though I left early as I was sick of it at that stage. Then there was the amount of litter and broken glass strewn around the town. Yeah, I’m glad I didn’t do anything like ( hell, even when I DID drink, St Patrick’s Day was nowhere near this messy for me. )

I guess I can say that changes are happening slowly and maybe it was just the fact that Winter is over and Spring is here now so maybe things will pick up a pace a little. However, I will to those who are in a similar position to me in regards to change and are not happy with thier progress: Don’t sweat it, people grow at different rates, your day in the sun will come.

My Name Is Adrian And These Are Some Of My Vulnerabilities.

Since I started this blog, I haven’t really spoken much about me. I have spoken of some of my experiences, some of my ideas, shared my goals that I want from life but one thing I haven’t really spoken of is what makes me… well me. I’m not invincible, I’m quite vulnerable, actually.

The following post, I wish to share some of my vulnerabilities. Some of these things I have no problem with sharing, while others make feel really uneasy about sharing them BUT I feel like I should so that people to get to know the REAL me, not the fake mask I wear most of the time to protect myself from being hurt.

I have never had a girlfriend.

I am 25 years old at the time of writing this and I have never had a girlfriend of any real sort ( any loose exceptions were really just people fucking with me. ) I’ve never had sex and being brutally honest, I don’t see this changing any time soon. Why? You might ask. It’s simple: I feel that most ( emphasising MOST here ) girls where I live are just not simply worth my time. This could be for various reasons be it that I am not attracted to them, they ARE attractive but they have the personality of a donkey and / or already taken by someone else.

I don’t mean to be fussy or anything, I simply just want to find someone who likes for me for who I am, not because I’m not the most handsome guy in the world, make the most money, etc. I feel that this girl simply does not exist for me in Ireland. For my own reasons, I’ve always felt incompatible with Irish culture, with it’s work all the hours god sends you and then go and get drunk to forget about your problems type of thing. Now, I know I am generalising but I am pretty sure this is true for the vast majority of people I know.

Of course, I’ve had numerous crushes over the years but nothing really came out of them, mainly because I was too scared to act. It was kind of creepy the way I acted around girls I liked when I was younger, practically stalking them because I didn’t know what else to do. It was only when I did this to someone in my class group and the whole thing blew up and became a massive mess for me that I snapped out of it. However, instead of following them, I did… nothing instead.

It’s something I am still working on and I feel that something…. I don’t what, is mentally blocking from going any further with girls I actually am interested in. I don’t why this is happening, is it because I am afraid of getting hurt? Then again, my first experience with trying to meet a girl ended in me getting ice thrown into my face! If that isn’t traumatising, then I don’t know what is. It’s something I need to figure out, though and overcome it because, believe it or not, I actually do want to know what actual love is and while I’m still young as well!

I procrastinate

I freely admit that I procrastinate way more than I should, wasting entire days on the computer on the internet, mainly because I feel where I live offers me virtually nothing of interest. I constantly get lectured for sleeping in late during the day but I wish I could answer back ‘ If that’s the case, tell me what there is for me to do!? ‘

More often than not, when I do ask, I usually got work shoved in my way, like doing the garden or painting the house, all the while others being smart about it and going ‘ Oh, isn’t this better than being on the computer all day!? ‘ That type of smart ass approach to me is one of the reasons I don’t like doing things for other people. Why? It doesn’t benefit me AT ALL. It makes me more resentful of them in fact. They see that my time is worth nothing and so treat it as such.
‘ Why don’t you get a job? ‘ That is all well and good but this is one serious problem – virtually everywhere I’ve ever submitted a CV to has never even bothered to call me back! As a result of this, I’ve never had any form of proper job since I was 18! The main reason I’m probably so slow is because I simply got exploited and treated like a fool by the job I did have. I won’t go into my reasons why but it coloured my view of things quite badly.

As for my list of things to do, I still go for daily walks most days but haven’t really touched a sketchpad in a while and I am slowly saving up my money to leave for Australia later this year. My year of no drinking is going good as well, too. I need to up my game, truly and honestly. I’m a bit of wreck right now and I know it and I WILL find a way through it.

And now for the reason I even considered making this post, this one is kind of hard for me to admit but after seeing several people come out with their insecurities and vulnerabilities on Niall Doherty’s blog, this one is pale in comparison to some of the things people spoke of there. That said, I’m still rather embarrassed to admit this.

I’ve got a crush on a video game character

There, I said it, you have no idea how much procrastination and hesitation I had to go through just to type that line. This exposes quite a few things about me, namely that I’m an introvert and that in spite of appearances, I am actually a giant nerd. Well, that is exaggerating a little but I do have nerdish tendencies, I just feel I can’t freely express them where I am in life right now for fear of ridicule.

Anyway, seeing that I got that out of the way, I might as well as say who it is. It’s actually quite honest anyway – It’s a character called Pyrrah from a game called Soul Calibur 5 ( a fighting game, a damn fun one at that as well. No prizes for guessing what character I play! ) I’m sorry but looking from the image below, I’m pretty sure some of you will admit ‘ Yeah, she IS cute alright. ‘

Come on, admit it. She's cute, isn't she?

The thing is, this has brought home several things, my lack of success with women and to be brutally honest, the piss poor quality of women in my area. This is one of the reasons I want to leave so bad – If I stay, I do not stand a chance in finding someone. I mean seriously, if I end up developing a crush on a freaking video game character, then something is seriously lacking.

However, I have to remind myself that I am NOT a special case. Indeed, consider the fact that people will develop crushes, even fall in love with – celebrities in the media. People who generally speaking, they have no hope in hell of ever meeting and even if they did, they would NOT be like the person they have imagined. Given all the paparazzi you get around celebrities anyway then you will know that they too are human, not some mythological creature. Why should be any different? ( That and there are countless others who have crushes on video game characters too, I know this. )

Right, I know this was a pretty self – centred post but there you have it, you know me a little bit better and have shown that I am indeed human. I am flawed, I am not perfect. I don’t want people to think otherwise. If I inspire you, I’m glad I do but please, don’t worship me like some sort of god. I am only human, I am a flawed and am working my way through life the best I can.

On Motivation

I admit, I’m sometimes not the most motivated of people and as you might notice, this blog sometimes goes without an update for a while. This is a bad habit of mine and I apologize for this. Others times, I’m very motivated ( like with the toastmasters speech I am doing later on tonight. )

However, although I’m sometimes not motivated to keep up to date, I’m not keen on having this blog dying on me either which is why I always come back. Funny, come to think of it, with most of my hobbies, I take a break for a few weeks but come back more motivated than ever.

It’s a matter of perspective, really.

Whatever motivates YOU, then keep it up!

On Shyness & Introversion

There was a time when I would have described myself as being ‘ shy. ‘ The truth was, I was never really that shy at all. I was the brash, hyperactive child who couldn’t sit down for 5 minutes and was always yapping away about random kids things. Point is, I’m more of an introvert as opposed to being a shy person. Yes, they are both different things and are not mutually exclusive.

An introvert likes or rather, needs to spend a lot of time on their own. An introvert feels drained if they are placed into a strange social situation. Introverts can also be very ‘ floaty ‘ in the way I don’t like hanging around one group generally in a social setting, opting to go around the room, casually talking to people.

An introvert very much tends to live ‘ in their head ‘ so to speak. I mean that we live in an inner world that can be just as rich and complex as the rich around us. I don’t mean that an introvert doesn’t know the difference between that and reality, its just the way we roll.

Life in an ‘ extroverted ‘ world for be hard for us. We’re told we need to have a billion friends, go out and get smashed every weekend and all that. This makes us feel bad when we neither don’t want or really need these things. Some of us become very depressed over this, others use as a motivator to do something different from the norm.

I guess the good about the introvert is that by default, we reject the norm. We wish to make our own way through life, not just do the whole ‘ packaged life ‘ thing. That is not for us, we think ‘ how boring ‘ and we go off on our latest adventure.

All in all, introversion and shyness are not the same thing. Someone by a shy extrovert and be an extroverted introvert. Its paradox, perhaps but that is life, it ain’t black and white!

My Theme for 2012

' Dreams ' - Comic from XKCD

 

I have already said that it is my intention to treat 2012 as if is really the ‘ final year. ‘ Well, not only that but I have also decided that 2012 is going to have a theme for myself as well. Many people do this and I thought why not.

Anyway, the theme for 2012 for me is Upsetting The Status Quo. For too long, I have being too quiet, too timid. I have always being a person who would fold to others expectations of me because I thought it was the right thing to do, to ‘ keep the peace. ‘ I now know ( or maybe, I have always known ) that this is just a cop out and it is only hurting me in the long run.

For example, I have a habit of responding to questions I have being asked with ‘ I don’t know. ‘ The truth is, more often than not, I should really respond to that question with ‘ None of your fucking business! ‘ The former is a neutral response to avoid causing arguments, the latter, while it may cause a scene once in a while, delivers the point to the other person to stop being so fucking nosey!

Then there is the more obvious ‘ comfortable – but not really fulfilled ‘ existence that I am currently in. I am ‘ comfortable ‘ so to speak but deep down, I know that I don’t like the situation I am in. I am mad feel bad by certain people for circumstances that are generally out of my control. Generally speaking, peer pressure is a bitch!

‘ Conform to this, conform to that! ‘ They tell you, expecting you to follow them like a stupid sheep. Why should I? Truth be told, my motivation is rather low at present, and it has being for some time. Almost everything feels like a fucking endurance test. ‘ This is the way, the only way! Even if you end up hating yourself and saddled with debt, this is the only way! ‘ Please….

Its not like I am not planning anything, Operation Getaway comes to mind. It is going to take me a long time to build up my funds to get there but by god, I am going to there. See, my motivation isn’t completely shot. I am using this as a foundation to build onto something bigger and better. Some people are like weeds and grow quickly. Others are more like Chinese Bamboo tress which see no real group for the first 4 years then see a massive growth sprout in year 5, you can’t judge a book by its cover.

I most also confess that I’m a bit of what some may call a ‘ Hopeless Romantic ‘ which it comes to perusing members of the opposite sex. I am going to admit that I’ve never have being in a relationship at the time of writing. It is just something that has never happened for me for one reason or another ( truth be told, its almost all me. ) There is even a word for it, Involuntary Celibacy or Incel for short.

Anyway, seeing that 2012 is all about upsetting the Status Quo, I will make much more of an effort to flirt with girls. How I will do, I’m not entirely sure yet because truth be told, where I live at present there is fuck all possibilities to meet ladies that don’t involve going to the pub and seeing that everyone is broke from Christmas, no one is going to be out this month! I’m not saying that it’s not impossible, just a lot more difficult.

On that topic, another aspect I need to stop giving a hoot about is the whole so-called ‘ Gossip Machine ‘ – people who probably because they have nothing better to do, go around nattering and poking their noses in other people’s lives and then proceed to tell everyone and their dogs about it. I am going to live by the theme I have set myself for this year, then the Gossip machine concerning me is going to go into overdrive!

For too long, I have let that dictate my actions or rather my inaction, all because I’m afraid of someone starting some bullshit rumours about me. Like I said, more often than not, these people have nothing better to do then spread shit, it really shows their character, doesn’t it? We people who are striving to brake free and make something of ourselves will face this and we all need to ignore it, even if the screams become almost deafening!

This is what we face when we chose to upset the Status Quo and for me, this is what 2012 is going to be about. Hell, I’ve already inadvertently started doing it already a few times already in my day to day life so maybe it is only to get stronger?

Here’s to 2012!

Challenge #1: Giving Up the Drink for 2012

The New Year, What will 2012 bring? And yes, there is a Mayan reference.

 

Firstly, Happy New Year everyone! Hope you had a good night wherever you were and whoever you were doing! 😉

Anyway, straight down to Business, I have an announcement to make. I am making good of my promise to start issuing myself challenges, well this one is more of an experiment – A pretty big one at that you can say. Its one that has being in the back of my mind for quite some time but it was something I knew I’d want to do eventually.

So, as of today, January 1st, 2012 – I am giving up the drink for one year. New Years Eve was the last blow out for me before this started, which explains why I am typing this out a few days beforehand and scheduled it!

Why?

Well, I have my reasons but rest assurred, I am NOT going to become of those oh so mighty teetotallers who tells everyone who drinks off ( I was like that when I was younger, it didn’t work too well socailly for me! Ha! ) The reaons I have for doing this are:

1. Cost

I have an awful habbit of spending way too much on booze when I am out. Tha money can easily be put to better use elsewhere, like saving for my trip to Australia. Seriously, there was one night where I spent over 100 Euro out. I am like ‘ Woah! To hell with that. ‘

2. Health

Another obvious one, I want to look after myself now more than ever. I am NOT invincable and I want to prolong my life as much as possible so that I can see as much as I can. That and hangovers generally suck ass and cause a write off of the next day!

3. I am using it as a crutch.

I, like many others, am a bit shy and inward. The drink helps bring me out of my shell quite a bit. HOWEVER, I realise that this is a trap and its really just a cop out for both me and anyone else that connects with drunk Adrian. My goal is to be able to do what I can do drunk…. except I will completely sober, if you get my drift.

Granted, I know the first few times going out sober will suck but I already know from exerpince as I often went out completely dry when I was 19 and 20. Those sucked but maybe it was because I never put myself out there enough.

4. I knew it was never meant to be a permentment fixture.

I didn’t start drinking until I was 21 and even then, I knew it wasn’t meant to be a permenment thing. I knew it was temporary, something to keep me sane during the college years. Now that I’m at the other side of this, I don’t wish to partake in these activities anymore, the peroid is over, I don’t NEED drink anymore, I can cope perfectly well on my own.

There are other reasons that are a bit too personal for me to blabbing out here right now so I’ll just at this. I am looking forward to doing this and hope that the whole experiment will work for the best for me!

Heres to the New Year Everyone!

2011 – Year in Review and Goals for the Final Year

The Old Year. Yes, that is meant to be the Arab Spring in the background

Well, what can I say? 2011 has being an interesting year to say the least. Not just because of the Arab Spring , Riots in London, the uncertain future of the Euro among other things. That isn’t what this post is about though.

This post is about me looking back at the past year. For both good and bad. So without further delay, lets get going.

1. The Fighting Game Community

This a significant year for me in the Irish Fighting Game scene. I began to make a bit of a name for myself this year. The break through occurred for me in March when I progressed out of the initial group stages of a tournament for the first time but not before having some very nerve wreaking matches in the group stages beforehand. However, the main thing that happened was me going against a player who I had a bit of a rivalry with from a previous event. I would win the match which gave birth a catchphrase that I’m associated with the in the Irish FG scene:

However, I haven’t won any tournaments at all this year. Mainly owing to the fact that I lost a bit of motivation during the year as well as the fact I moved from joypad to the more preferred Arcade Stick, which took a bit of adjusting and knocked me back a little. Then I went through a frustrating period where it seemed like I was actually dis-improving, hopefully I’m slowly coming out of that now.

I’ve also met from great people as a result and gone on some adventures with these people, including getting so drunk one night that I got sick everywhere ( whoops! ) I was at least able to laugh and joke about it with people and not feel too embarrassed over it! Ha!

A good year for me in the scene and I only hope to get better next year!

2. Education / College

Well, I finished college finally this year AND I did it without ever taking on any debt ( thanks Mom and Dad. ) This was my main concern and maybe I was a bit too harsh about it and I feel I missed out on a lot because well…. lets just commuting sucks! Would have I done things differently? Of course, that’s the benefit of hindsight I guess.

As for me right now, I’m going through a bit of a crisis of character. I’m not sure what I want to do with myself BUT I do know that I don’t want to end up as one of the many mindless drones that do stuff they hate for no reason. Let me tell you, the peer pressure is bad but I’m determined to overcome all this!

3. That it is me and only ME that is holding me back

This was actually one of the first things I learned this year, way back in January. I saw it demonstrated to me clearly that it was me who holding myself. The main reason I would sit on my own feeling sorry for myself was well… because I would sit on my own almost involuntarily! I guess that is what happens when you are as untrusting and cynical about people as I was.

I can pinpoint two events in January that were the catalysts for this. One involuntary ( having to switch from my spot in college owing to a computer hiccuping on me, leaving concerned that I might lose my data from computer failure ) and the other was something I did myself ( helping out a few people get a computer image on a large screen at someone’s 21st. I did it honestly not expecting anything or with any agenda and got free drink and respect because of it. )

Also at said 21st, there I was literally sitting on my own and yes, the guys literally had to tell that it was OK to hang out with them – which brought home the message that I was doing it to myself and no one else.

Its being a bit of wild ride this year as a result, actually feeling like I was a part of some group, not just because of video games. That is one thing I can take away from 2011 and hold my head up high for.

4. I travelled spontaneously

Well, as spontaneous as only booking the trip less than 3 weeks before and apart from looking up a few small things, not knowing what to expect or what to do. Barcelona, like I mentioned before is a beautiful place, even if a little warm for my liking.

I had some fun and learned that I still have some mental blocks to overcome and that I really should give myself permission to go with the flow more and it usually leads to the best experiences than going with expectations and ‘ rules ‘ in your mind. The latter always leads to disappointment and I really need to overcome it!

 

Goals for 2012 – ‘ The Final Year ‘

 

I am sure that many of you have heard about the popular Mayan Theory that the world is going to end on December 21st, 2012. While I personally believe something will happen next year, it will NOT be the end of the world! HOWEVER, I am going to treat 2012 as if it really is ‘ the final year ‘ and my goals will be based on this.

On or two of these will be similar to my previous mentioned goals in my post getting called out by Disrupting the Rabbelment last month. Some of them will be new, all of them will be realistic. Anyway, my goals for 2012 are:

1. Lose 10 pounds

I could just say ‘ lose weight ‘ here but that is too vague for my liking. SO, I have decided to start low, otherwise I’d just give up before I even begin. This one is flexible and can and will be updated as I progress but for now, keeping it simple will motivate me better than putting up a scary figure that will just put me off.

2. Do at least one real world sketch a week

I love drawing and I want to get better at it so with that in mind I want to start sketching from life more. At least once week, I will sketch from life be it a statue, person or a chair. Anything just to get a sketch pad going.

3. Get out of here

It shocks and saddens why the hell so many people are so small minded and chose to spend their entire lives living the same area. They grow up there, they meet someone from there, they live and work there and they die there. I don’t want this, I want to get out of the same area and see more fot his world. This ties with my earlier goal of getting to Australia.

4. Get a source of income

This can temporary or permanent and again ties in with my getting to Australia goal. I will basically do what it takes to get there quicker than my November 22nd deadline. If I have to wait that long so be it but I WILL get there.

5. Experiment more

Like others, I am open to try different stuff and hope to try a few experiments, some will be short and others will be longer, like a year old experiment that I won’t be announcing until tomorrow, followed by a shorter month long experiment that I’ll announce a few days after, both will be beginning on New Years Day.

Aside from those, I don’t really have anything else in mind at present for experiments so I am open for suggestions in that regard. I merely want to open my mind and what things are .

So there you have it, thoughts on 2011 and some goals for 2012 now lets bring it on!

Fighting For Your Inner Child

Once again, another post based on a speech I wrote for toastmasters! This topic is a bit more personal to me this time, talking about how how we should hold to the child like wonder and excitement as we get older, in spite of what society tells us otherwise.

Who here remembers Christmas as a child? Back then, Christmas was by far the most exciting and magical time of year. Why? Becase Santa was going to bring you lots of toys ( or coal if you were naughty! ) I remember one early Christmas morning screaming the whole house awake because I couldn’t put a trailer back onto a toy truck I’d gotten off Santa! I did this more than once that night, too!

As a child, the world seemed full of endless possiblites. There was no limit to what you could do. You were full of life, full of wonder, full of joy. Your imagination knew no bounds. A simple box could have being a means to send yourself to the moon or put you on TV ( to the dismay of parents who brought the toy that was in that box! ) Simply put, you felt unstoppable and nothing would stand in your way.

But then, something happened. You can’t quite explain it at first. People begin telling you that you need to grow up. That you can’t do this or that thing anymore. Its too childish. ‘ Stop playing around in the mud, you’ll get dirty! ‘ they tell you. You begin getting clothes at Christmas instead of toys. Slowly, you begin to lose the innocence and wonder that goes with being a child.

Instead, you begin to think that being cold, angry and miserable is the norm. If you were to read a newspaper or watch the news, its practically encouraged! You can’t be a child anymore, grow up, be an adult! Be responsible. Do what your told… or else! You see all of these messages. What will you do? Will you end up rebelling and causing trouble or do you pull down you pants and just take it?

To be truthful, this is an issue close to my heart as I was on the recieivng end of this when I was younger. Its was quite sudden and rather extreme as well. I was told I couldn’t do this or that thing anymore. It was too childish and that I would have to grow up. Be a man.

The problem was that I didn’t like what I was seeing. From what I saw, being a man involved working ridiculous hours in a job you probably hate, vegetate in front of a TV when you got home and then at the weekends go out and get ridiculously drunk because you ‘ deserved a break. ‘ People behind the advertising of alcohol definately got something right if that is what people think is the norm!

I was looking at all this and asked myself ‘ Why? ‘ I simply wondered why I should be forced to abandon what made me happy as a child just because I passed a certain age? Was I too old? Were people around me just trying to fit expections? ‘ It will be easier if you just submit. ‘ No one ever speaks those words aloud but deep down, that is what I think many people are doing.

I believe that you should always stay in touch with your inner child. A person who loses touch with thier inner child typically ends up as one of the endless drones you see day in and day out everywhere. Dull, boring, uninteresting. They hate their jobs and they probably hate their lives as well. I simply do not wish this fate on myself.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I know that we all to an extent, need to grow up. I strive to be independent. I am capable of looking after others as well as myself. I want a family one day in the future and I want to be sure that I can be there for them. However, even when you face the responsibilites of an adult, you should let your inner child out as much as possible.

If more people were like this, I think the world would be a more colourful, exicitng and peaceful place. People would be more interesting to be around, everyone would be happier. I wish for a playful world, I believe it would solve a lot of our problems. A child does not hate, does not judge – All they see is a potential playmate, for example.

So, I say go and build sand castles on the beach. Sleep with a teddy by your side if that is whats you happy. Watch cartoons on television ( well, anything is better than Jeremy Kyle! ) Do all these childish things and If others look at you disapprovingly and exclaim ‘ Thats childish! ‘ ‘ Grow the hell up! ‘ Look them in the eye, smile and simply reply back ‘ I am one of the happiest people I know, what about you!? ‘