Monthly Archives: September 2012
Recently, I encountered someone I knew from school. I hadn’t seen this person in quite some time. We both had our things to do which meant we never met up. Fine by me, I have my own things to do, be it college, working on toastmasters speeches or planning my trip to Australia. I guess we just drifted apart. It happens, so they say.
However, one thing occurred that was pretty saddening in my viewpoint. I recently saw this person staggering out of a bar in town, looking like hell. The thing was, this wasn’t the weekend, it was a Tuesday evening.
Now, where I’m from, unless it’s St Patrick’s Day, going out getting that drunk on a Tuesday evening is kind of alarming ( even given the drink culture in Ireland! ) What saddened me is the fact this person seems to have lost sight of thier pontential and have instead settled for a life of mediocracy. A type of souless life that I suspect that drinking is used to escape. I weep for thier offspring.
The point of my story is that is a classic example of someone losing sight of thier potential. These are the same people who spend thier whole lives living in the same town, going to the same places on holidays. They have given up. What happened to the teenager I remember!? They were hyper and energetic! This betrays that person I knew.
I am left wondering why do people fall in this trap. Is it because of circumstances being too much? Maybe it is their idea of ‘ growing up, ‘ one where they discard everything that made them unique and become a part of the borg collective. Maybe people feel this is the only way that they’ll become ‘ normal. ‘ Who knows, it happens and I find it depressing.
The fact that I’m aware of the fact this happens is probably a good thing. I made a promise to myself a long time ago that no matter what, I would NOT become this. It’s being hard, I know that if I stay put, I’ll never reach my potential, which is probably why I’ve got such itchy feet to travel. I’ve learned more about what makes me tick in say, 5 days of travel than in 5 months, for example. I guess I need to be put into situations where I have to 100% depend on myself in order for me to achieve my pontential.
That is just me, though. For other people, it could be different. They use thier circumstances as a motivator to achieve their potential. Some people get dealt some serious amounts of lemons in life. Yet, there are able to overcome these obstables and still achieve their potential ( case in point, the people who compete in the Paralymics. ) Yeah, now that is what I call making Lemonade! 😀
So as the saying goes, if life gives you Lemons, make Lemonade. Given my recent setbacks, it’s something I need to remember as well. Remember your potential, hold onto it for dear life. Fight for it and never, ever let go of it.
Let’s face it, we all have elephants in the room or skeletons in the cloest, so to speak. Things we’ve done that looking back on we are less than proud of. It’s all really a part of life. We sometimes need to do these things in order to grow as human beings.
However, we grow to fear these skeletons in the closest – fearing one day, they’ll will burst out and ruin us. People will look down on us, we’ll lose our jobs, our families, our reputation. OK, maybe not those type of extremes ( well, for most of us, anyway! ) BUT we are still rather embarrassed by them regardless. Worried what people will think of us if they saw the truth, worried about what they will think of us.
The thing is, unless it is something really bad like rape or murder, then we generally have nothing to worry about. Sure, some people will look down on you for it but your true friends and those who will understand will see it for what it is. They will congratulate you for being honest and brave enough to share with the world, one of the skeletons in the closest.
And so with that, I am going to introduce you to one of my skeletons in the closest. Why am I doing this? You may ask? Well, it’s something I’ve being meaning to do. I also want to show full transparancy of who I am, what makes me tick and how I’ve arrived to who I am today. Then there is the fact it’s an exercise in caring less. I am well aware that I could potentially be upsetting a number of people with some of the content I am about to post. Be honest with how you lot feel, I am looking for open, honest discussion here.
Anyway, with that, I now introduce the Skeleton….
From the desciption on top; I am an Irish Man. I am against feminism and all things surrounding it or it surrounds. Need I say more?
And with that, I am confessing that I was once part of the online MRA ( Men’s Right’s Activism ) movement when I was between the ages of 20 – 22. Well actually considering, I was more of keyboard warrior than anything. I never attended any protests or anything like that.
The simple truth is this – I was pretty socially awkward and had a very naive view of the world of the time. Top that with the fact I didn’t really have much success with ladies at the time and well, it’s an uneasy brew! Basically, I was angry at the world for ‘ wronging ‘ and basically needed a scapegoat to take out my anger. With the whole MRA thing, I found that scapegoat – Feminism!
Some of the earlier posts from 2006 up to late 2007 are quite angry and bitter posts if I may say. Like I said, I was quite angry at the time. It did not help my woman situation at all, naturally! It hindered it more than anything else as I became slightly untrusting of many women and painted a lot of people with the same brush. It was at it worst in the Summer of 2007, bad experiences with in real life at the time only made things worse and I was especially bitter back then.
Some of the content also speaks of some more personal problems. Again, these are related to my own anger issues at the time, I’m more likely to refrain from speaking of them in such a public manner these days ( that’s not saying you shouldn’t talk about the shit that goes in your life – just don’t go posting about in every website you come across like I did at one point, when I was younger and more naive. )
However, slowly but surely the content started to change. It became more thoughtful and less bitter and angry. I began to realize that in all honesty, the current path I was going down was destructive and would only do me harm in the long term. I had to think hard about this.
It is worth nothing that I have not maintained the blog in any shape or form since March 2008. If you visit the link, the first post is actually about leaving the whole MRA thing behind. This actually one of the only times I have offically left something. Other times, I usually just faded from a community over time. This one was abrupt and quick. I went as far as abandoning the ‘ NHY ‘ nick I had being using on various sites since 2001 in order for me to get a fresh start.
Now, my time involved with the MRA scene wasn’t all bad. The main goal of the MRA movement, when you bring it down to it’s most basic form, is to simply bring true equality for both men and women. There are many other different ideals within the MRA scene that I was aware of but that is it’s main goal in it’s simplest form. One thing I’ve learned as a result that I’m actually pretty passionate about Human Rights, for ALL people, be it male or female.
Another aspect of the online MRA scene was that many people who were involved at the time had the following symbol somewhere on their blog;
This is the logo of MGTOW – Men Going Their Own Way. It is the main philosophy behind the online scene at the time I was involved ( I’m not sure about now as I haven’t kept up for obvious reasons. ) There is even a manifesto for it as well.
The main point I took from the whole thing is from the Title – Men Going Their Own Way. I saw it to mean that we ( everyone here, not just men ) do not need to go down the beaten track in life. We don’t need to become just another drone in the machine. We too, can forge our own paths in life – Go our own way, so to speak. Be unique, not locked down by what others expect of us.
That was my interpretation of what MGTOW truly meant and I would like to believe that it led me to clicking with the whole lifestyle design philosophy when I first came across it last year. It was really a natural extension of the lessons instilled in me by the MGTOW philosophy, only it was truly inclusive of everyone.
And so with that, I have now introduced my Skeleton into the open. Some people will look differently on me now as a result of this. That is fine by me, we all have our Skeletons in the closest. Our secrets that no one knows of. Some we may never share, others we want to share but are afraid of the reaction. The truth is, like I said earlier, your TRUE friends will understand, everyone else can go to hell, quite frankly!
Hey everyone, how have you being? It’s being a while, I know. Lack of motivation on my part ( hey, at least I’m honest! )
The last week has frankly… not the being the best of weeks in the Adrian Collins camp. I’m not ill or anything like that, thankfully. It’s just some things didn’t work out for me, that’s all.
Firstly and regretfully, I am announcing that I will be missing my ‘ Project Getaway ‘ deadline that I set last November. There is really only one reason; Money. I know that many people adovcate that money doesn’t mean everything but I still believe in at least having some sort of cousion when I do get to Australia.
On that topic, the new date of departure will be early next year, probably something before Mid-Feburary. Truth be told I’m rather disapointed in myself that I will be missing the deadline, I built myself so much up for it only to miss it over something as petty as money! However, there is a minimum required to enter Australia ( Yes, I know they hardly check but better safe than sorry and it always helps to have something of a cushion to land on. ) I would be barely scrapping it as it is if I went in November.
On the other hand, at least I’ll be at home in case the world ends on December 21st! 😛
There was also another event that occurred this week that made the suck even worse. However, I don’t think I should talk about it as a mark of respect to all those effected. I will say it was one of the worst things I’ve ever had to endure.
What To Make Of All This
The last week sucked, there is no denying that. I was a bit down in the dumps over eveything that occurred but my world hasn’t ended. I’ve come out on the other side in one piece, maybe feeling a little sad but I’m still here.
I accept that these things happen. Maybe it’s lifes way of kicking me up the hole, so to speak. I’ve also learnt a bit about myself; I’m more resilliant than I’ve ever being. The same series of events would have broken me if they happened when I was 16. Now, while still upsetting, I knew that I would get through them and come out the other side, a better person for it as well.
Life has a way of throwing a spanner in the works at times. Each and everyone of us has to endure these kind of challenges in life. It’s how we react to them is what will define us. Will you fall to pieces or will you rise up and become a better person?