Monthly Archives: December 2011
Well, what can I say? 2011 has being an interesting year to say the least. Not just because of the Arab Spring , Riots in London, the uncertain future of the Euro among other things. That isn’t what this post is about though.
This post is about me looking back at the past year. For both good and bad. So without further delay, lets get going.
1. The Fighting Game Community
This a significant year for me in the Irish Fighting Game scene. I began to make a bit of a name for myself this year. The break through occurred for me in March when I progressed out of the initial group stages of a tournament for the first time but not before having some very nerve wreaking matches in the group stages beforehand. However, the main thing that happened was me going against a player who I had a bit of a rivalry with from a previous event. I would win the match which gave birth a catchphrase that I’m associated with the in the Irish FG scene:
However, I haven’t won any tournaments at all this year. Mainly owing to the fact that I lost a bit of motivation during the year as well as the fact I moved from joypad to the more preferred Arcade Stick, which took a bit of adjusting and knocked me back a little. Then I went through a frustrating period where it seemed like I was actually dis-improving, hopefully I’m slowly coming out of that now.
I’ve also met from great people as a result and gone on some adventures with these people, including getting so drunk one night that I got sick everywhere ( whoops! ) I was at least able to laugh and joke about it with people and not feel too embarrassed over it! Ha!
A good year for me in the scene and I only hope to get better next year!
2. Education / College
Well, I finished college finally this year AND I did it without ever taking on any debt ( thanks Mom and Dad. ) This was my main concern and maybe I was a bit too harsh about it and I feel I missed out on a lot because well…. lets just commuting sucks! Would have I done things differently? Of course, that’s the benefit of hindsight I guess.
As for me right now, I’m going through a bit of a crisis of character. I’m not sure what I want to do with myself BUT I do know that I don’t want to end up as one of the many mindless drones that do stuff they hate for no reason. Let me tell you, the peer pressure is bad but I’m determined to overcome all this!
3. That it is me and only ME that is holding me back
This was actually one of the first things I learned this year, way back in January. I saw it demonstrated to me clearly that it was me who holding myself. The main reason I would sit on my own feeling sorry for myself was well… because I would sit on my own almost involuntarily! I guess that is what happens when you are as untrusting and cynical about people as I was.
I can pinpoint two events in January that were the catalysts for this. One involuntary ( having to switch from my spot in college owing to a computer hiccuping on me, leaving concerned that I might lose my data from computer failure ) and the other was something I did myself ( helping out a few people get a computer image on a large screen at someone’s 21st. I did it honestly not expecting anything or with any agenda and got free drink and respect because of it. )
Also at said 21st, there I was literally sitting on my own and yes, the guys literally had to tell that it was OK to hang out with them – which brought home the message that I was doing it to myself and no one else.
Its being a bit of wild ride this year as a result, actually feeling like I was a part of some group, not just because of video games. That is one thing I can take away from 2011 and hold my head up high for.
4. I travelled spontaneously
Well, as spontaneous as only booking the trip less than 3 weeks before and apart from looking up a few small things, not knowing what to expect or what to do. Barcelona, like I mentioned before is a beautiful place, even if a little warm for my liking.
I had some fun and learned that I still have some mental blocks to overcome and that I really should give myself permission to go with the flow more and it usually leads to the best experiences than going with expectations and ‘ rules ‘ in your mind. The latter always leads to disappointment and I really need to overcome it!
Goals for 2012 – ‘ The Final Year ‘
I am sure that many of you have heard about the popular Mayan Theory that the world is going to end on December 21st, 2012. While I personally believe something will happen next year, it will NOT be the end of the world! HOWEVER, I am going to treat 2012 as if it really is ‘ the final year ‘ and my goals will be based on this.
On or two of these will be similar to my previous mentioned goals in my post getting called out by Disrupting the Rabbelment last month. Some of them will be new, all of them will be realistic. Anyway, my goals for 2012 are:
1. Lose 10 pounds
I could just say ‘ lose weight ‘ here but that is too vague for my liking. SO, I have decided to start low, otherwise I’d just give up before I even begin. This one is flexible and can and will be updated as I progress but for now, keeping it simple will motivate me better than putting up a scary figure that will just put me off.
2. Do at least one real world sketch a week
I love drawing and I want to get better at it so with that in mind I want to start sketching from life more. At least once week, I will sketch from life be it a statue, person or a chair. Anything just to get a sketch pad going.
3. Get out of here
It shocks and saddens why the hell so many people are so small minded and chose to spend their entire lives living the same area. They grow up there, they meet someone from there, they live and work there and they die there. I don’t want this, I want to get out of the same area and see more fot his world. This ties with my earlier goal of getting to Australia.
4. Get a source of income
This can temporary or permanent and again ties in with my getting to Australia goal. I will basically do what it takes to get there quicker than my November 22nd deadline. If I have to wait that long so be it but I WILL get there.
5. Experiment more
Like others, I am open to try different stuff and hope to try a few experiments, some will be short and others will be longer, like a year old experiment that I won’t be announcing until tomorrow, followed by a shorter month long experiment that I’ll announce a few days after, both will be beginning on New Years Day.
Aside from those, I don’t really have anything else in mind at present for experiments so I am open for suggestions in that regard. I merely want to open my mind and what things are .
So there you have it, thoughts on 2011 and some goals for 2012 now lets bring it on!
Hey, being under prepared and a self inflicted injury ( hangover ) means I won’t be making a proper new post today, will post something later on this week, though.
It might seem like a trival exercise to some but I recently did a cull of friends on facebook, that socail networking site that I’m sure some of you are familiar with. It was actually the first time in my 3 years of having an active facebook account I did it, the exercise was actually kind of signifficant
It was something that I’ve being meaning to do but haven’t done so for a long time. I was going to wait until New Years Day but then I said to hell with it, no time is better than the present, so they say.
While it may seem insignificant to some, my friends list went from 220 when I started down to 167 when I finished. This included after the initial clean up going through my friends list twice afterwards with a fine curb just to be sure.
Friends I have deleted include:
– A local girl who said she’d love to have drinks with me the ‘ next time I see her out ‘ and then is never seen out locally ever again. I am too old for that nonsense thank you very much.
– People I knew from college who I have simply drifted apart from. It happens, I understand. Most of them were ignorant anyway.
– People I met on a trip aboard many years ago. Very little chance I’ll ever meet them again.
– People who have moved on with their lives in a direction I’m not keen on. Nothing bad here, more around the lines of ‘ settling and having a family before your 25 ‘ type of thing. I don’t see myself even remotely thinking about settling until I’m in my 30s.
A part of me didn’t want to this but I kept reminding myself this: ‘ The past is over, its time to move on and forget this people. May they have nice lives but there is no point holding onto them as reminders of the past – move onwards and forwards! ‘ Hence, I did it.
That was my main reason I did it – I’m fed up of living the past and wish to simply move forward. The past is done, its time to look ahead and enjoy the present. This is the whole point of this blog, a place to bring out my ideas on about lifestyle design AND keep myself accountable for my own progress in building a better life for myself.
Besides, if any of the people I deleted actually do still care about me, they’ll be able to find me and refriend me if need be. If not, no loss. I somehow don’t think they’ll care enough about seeking me out, I’ll be very surprised if they did, though.
How do I feel now? Odd and maybe little sad but I knew is was a necessary. Like I said, I want to move on fully and begin living in the present. So in the long run, I’ll be glad I did it.
Letting go of your past is important to move on in life. Hell my title icon in Street Fighter 4 is ‘ The Past is Over ‘ emphaising the point I really don’t want to live in the pasy anymore. Its ok to think back about the past but if you doing it too much, theres a problem.
Yes, I know I screwed up on that trip in 2004, stop beating yourself up over it! It made you into who you are, someone who questions the point of a load of rules that more often than not, will HINDER you if try following them! Things like that I need to snap out and just live in the present as much as possible!
So, I now promise myself to not living the past anymore, to live in the present. The present is after all, all that I can control.
And seeing that my next post isn’t until the 27th, I would like to wish all my readers here a Very Happy and Peaceful Christmas. May all you have more love and happiness than you can handle!
The Fighting Game community that I’m a part runs monthly tournaments where the top 3 people get a cash prize. I am more than happy to not just take part but contribute in any way I can, be it bringing a console for people to play on, helping with camera work, organising the layout of the room, things like that.
I never expect to win money from going to these tournaments, the main reason I go is for the community spirit as well as bettering myself as a player so that I can possibily one day win some money. Point is, its not that I wouldn’t mind winning, its just not something I try and obsess over.
Some of my peers on the other hand, are ALL about winning. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know that focusing all your engery on something in order to win can be good at times but even then, it could be years before you see results. Some people want to see results yesterday ( I believe Army recruit camps go by this principle! ) They also think that if your not winning, there is no point in taking part in the first place!
On the other hand, I’m sure you all familar with the phrase ‘ Its not the winning, its the taking part that counts. ‘ Yes, I’m sure its all well and good but there is one little problem with that phrase, it generally has negative conetations! Think about it, when was the last time you heard that phrase, was it when you lost badly at something? Its a phrase used to make you feel better for losing at something which is why I feel its a negative.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for competitiveness ( it encourages you to get better ) but you should never be satisifed with losing. HOWEVER, you shouldn’t obsess about winning to the point it becomes destructive. There is a very fine line between this and dedication.
It is alright to dedicated to something by all means go ahead BUT please don’t turn into an obsession. More often than not, it can be destructive!
We have all done some rather silly and irresponsible things. We’re only human after all. This is what makes us interesting and unique. Some of the things are the type that make you feel like you want to die of embarrassment while some tend to be a little more serious.
We have all done embrassing things. Hell, the reason I’m doing this is because I’m thinking of my ‘ oh god why ‘ moments when I was ahem…. under the influence. Ha! The worst that happened by was getting shot down by a some lady! And he’s me thinking its the end of the world.
The world is still going and in the context of everything, no one is going to really care in future for those silly little things. That is something I need to overcome myself. Life goes on, things will change. Hell, its not like I do this every weekend any more to begin with!
The main message I want to convey is that embarassment is fine and in reality you’ll get over it fairly quickly. Don’t sweat it, buddy!