Breaking Free Of Your Limits

Once upon a time, that was a scared little boy who played things by the rules because he didn’t want to get into trouble. Be it with school, parents or society. This boy as such led a very safe life but it was also very very boring. This boy would watch while others would brush some of the rules aside and have fun while he sat alone wondering why he was playing things by the book so much that it was now making him miserable – This was his make up call and over time, he began to let it go – to give himself permission to be like everyone else – That it is OK to break the rules sometimes, that is where the most memorable experiences come from.

As you can probably guess, that boy was me. I really limited myself when I was younger for no real good reason – Well, if you count ‘ not wanting to cause trouble ‘ as a reason than you are right. I mean, I followed the rules and expectations set to me by peers to me to the tee. Truth be told, I saw people all the time flaunting them and getting away with it whatever I followed rules to the point of insanity.

The kick up the ass I needed to break free of this came in 2004. It was when I in Lourdes as a youth helper. There was a whole load of rules that one had to follow as a youth helper as I was representing my secondary school amongst other things such as no congregating in other groups hotels ( they had groups split in different hotels depending on sex ) , no drinking, stuff like that.

As you can imagine, those rules went right out of the window by everyone…. except me. I was to stubborn for my own good. However, my hotel room overlooked a roof where another group of the opposite sex was staying – I basically saw everyone going out down every night. This caused me gods knows how much internal grief and began to eat at my internal stubbornness and resistance.

It really upset me actually as I actually wanted to join them but I had a mental block that I couldn’t overcome about sticking to the rules and not wanting to get caught and get into trouble. I guess I was imagining the worst case scenario of being sent home early over breaking the rules when in reality, the worst I’d likely gotten was a proverbial slap on the wrist.

But anyway, the point is while Lourdes was still an experience I’ll never forget, I still missed out on a lot because of my unwillingness to bend the rules. The whole thing had shaken my belief system to the point I was now seriously questioning why the fuck I was following the rules so much when it was shoved literally in front of me people getting ahead by bending the rules the little.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about wanting to behave like a politician here ( we all know they are generally the least likely of anyone to follow any rules to begin with! ) or committing serious crimes, I mean the well intentioned rules laid down on us by our family, school and society in general. You know the sort of stuff I’m on about: ‘ Don’t speak without permission! ‘ ‘ Stay behind the yellow line in the playground or else you’ll get 50 lines! ‘ ‘ Don’t drink until your 18! ‘ ‘ Get a job, a car, a house ‘ etc, etc.

You have to wonder, who the hell made these rules in the first place? Was it some pretentious wanker at the start of the Industrial Revolution who wanted to use schooling as a means to produce ‘ Good Citizen’s of the World? ‘ ( When I say that, I’m referring to people who are thick as shit and don’t ask questions! ) Or is it the corporations who want to people to hive minded so they they’ll obey and pay all the useless junk the media tells them to?

Why do we follow all the rules laid down to us? Are we afraid of getting into trouble with the man? Are afraid of what others will think of us if we didn’t? WHY should we follow all the rules, even the more pointless ones? Why not try breaking free instead?

This is something I have worked since that fateful trip to Lourdes in 2004, I have some serious slips along the way, like having to leave go of the notion that just because you don’t have the money, doesn’t mean you can’t do anything. Its still a work in progress but I am getting there, slowly getting more and free as the days pass.

One day, I’ll get there but for now, I’m enjoying the Journey.

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Posted on August 16, 2011, in Control, Fear, Life, Me. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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