Stop Trying to Control Everything

You see them everywhere, everyday. They go about their lives, cursing their misfortune, cursing how things don’t go to plan, thinking that they have no control over what happens to them. They see the world around them as a threat, a world that is out to get you and will rape you, either physically, mentally or otherwise if you let it.

They fear people, thinking they have ulterior motives all the time. They fear nature, for it will conspire against them and ruin all their fun. The list could go on and on but it all boils down to one thing; fear of losing control.

The question I wish to ask is why would you want to so much control? The last time I tried to control the outcome of anything, I just ended up a bag of stress when things didn’t go the way I wanted them. Be it being stuck on my own because I was too arrogant and full of myself to arrange things with other people or not enjoying myself on a night out when that interaction with that pretty girl didn’t go according to plan or being so paralysed by fear that I didn’t do anything about it.

The reason we want so much control is because of our comfort zones. After all, if we imagine hard enough that things will go our way, we’ll get that job, we get that girl, we get everything we want in life AND we won’t have to upset are nice neat, flaming shit, status quo, balance or whatever it is. That is a sham, things never go that way, it’s the nature of the universe.

You see, the universe is chaotic, it does not like having things going to plan, it likes to be random. It’s like to bring rain on the day you want to have that BBQ, its like to hold you up in traffic on the way to work, it loves throwing rejection in your face. That said, out of its chaos, comes a balance and it is beautiful.

What is something you can do to even begin to break free of this? Simple, STOP trying to control everything! Yes, that’s right, stop demanding a certain outcome to this event, that day or whatever it is. A good thing to do is to every day, write a little note. It could be to yourself, the universe, whatever higher power takes your fancy. In this note, you will tell the universe that you are giving yourself permission to just go with the flow and not try to control everything that happens.

A recent example for me was a few weeks back, when I traveled up to Dublin for a gaming event, before I left, I wrote a note reminding myself to just go with the flow and not try to control everything, just let it happen naturally. I had a great weekend, where I fully gave myself permission to be myself and ahem…. get a little bit carried away with the drink ( pro tip: Captain Morgans + Coke + Jagermister + Chugging down a pint = Uneasy brew in stomach! ) but regardless, it was all good fun and I enjoyed the weekend throughly.

This was all helped by the fact I simply just went with the flow and let the universe decide what would happen instead of trying to control everything. That was the lesson I learned that weekend, its OK to be yourself and that its OK to screw up sometimes, we’re only human after all.

So, tomorrow morning, why don’t you write a note telling the universe that you are just going to go with the flow today and not to try to control everything that happens during your day. Try it, and leave some comments on how it affected you.

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Posted on July 6, 2011, in Control, Fear, Universe. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. What the fuck?

  2. thank you for your post. gives a lot to think about. haven’t actually done the activity you suggested but can see how it is going to help

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